The understatement of the year is that ‘parenting is hard’. In today’s environment, it’s harder than ever. I really have nothing to compare it to since I have only been a parent for 13 years, but I would be willing to bet it was easier when our parents were raising us. For the most part we went to school, came home, and were sent outside to play. I recently read a quote that sums up my childhood, “When I was a kid my social network was called “outside”. “Get outside and play” was about the only pressure placed on us kids. And for parents, there was not much pressure to push your child in multiple domains. Now it is expected for parents to raise the next 5-year-old soccer star who can play Sheonberg on the violin flawlessly while reciting Walt Whitman in fluent Mandarin. OK, so that is a little extreme, but it can feel like that at times and it is a hell of a lot of pressure on us parents.
Now add to that homeschooling, zoom meetings, working from home, meal prepping 3 meals a day and NO PERSONAL SPACE. I don’t know about you, but the amount of yelling has definitely increased over the past few months in our house. (Thankfully, so has the amount of apologizing.) So, we need to take the self-induced pressures to be the best parents ever and throw it out the window. In other words, give yourself some grace! Be kind to yourself and know, you are doing the best you can with what you have been given.
Many may think the idea of grace is a solely religious concept, but not necessarily. According to Webster, grace is “disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency”. In other words, grace is giving yourself the kindness you deserve. I once read that grace is “The type of thing you would want your best friend to do for herself because you don’t want to see her breakdown”. What an amazing way to look at how we should treat ourselves!
Now let’s apply it and take the time to practice. Here are some easy ways to start giving ourselves grace:
Remind yourself daily that you are human, and you will make mistakes, so will everyone else you know. No one is perfect.
Go DO something for yourself, go take a walk, meet a friend, read a book, meditate or get a massage!
When you make a mistake, swallow your pride and ask for forgiveness.
And practice self-affirmations. Yes, you will feel stupid at first, but saying them out loud really does make a difference.
There are so many other ways to give yourself grace. Get going and start doing it. We could all use some grace right now!
Author: Quinn McFall, LCHMC, LCAS
I believe that the most important aspect of counseling is the relationship developed between the client and myself. I focus on the client as a holistic person. Looking at all aspects of one’s life (family, career, health, spirituality, etc.) and how those important factors impact the whole person. Nothing is more important to the outcome of therapy than the absolute positive regard I have towards those I assist. I believe that regardless of why one seeks emotional guidance, we all want to be reassured that we will be treated with respect and dignity. That is a promise I make to each and every person I counsel.
I specialize in the treatment of depression, anxiety, mood disorders and substance abuse. I utilize evidence based practices including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Motivational Enhancement to help people resolve concerns and improve their quality of life. I’m dedicated to physical wellness to assist in stress management and strengthening self-esteem and self-worth.
I am a native to the gulf coast of Florida but have been in the triangle for 18 years. I received my undergraduate degree from Sewanee; The University of the South, in Tennessee, and my graduate degree from East Carolina University, in Rehabilitation Counseling and Substance Abuse Counseling. I am fully licensed as a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and a Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist. The field of psychotherapy is always evolving which is why I continually attend continuing education courses and follow new trends in the field to better serve my clients.